How To Handle Chronic Complainers?

Posted on April 14th, 2021

Chronic complainers in the office are hard to deal with and work. They are not only toxic to themselves but are also to others. They always keep complaining regarding even the pettiest things. These complainers can be your colleagues or boss or anyone in the office you meet.

The question here is how to deal with them and handle the situation so that your complainer and you do not end up in an awkward or unwanted situation. If you are also pondering over the same question, then here are ways to deal with complainers in your workspace.

Understand their mindset:

Most of the complainers wish to deconstruct. First, understand this. Besides, you also need to know why these people complain every time. Probably, they are not happy with the work or you. There may also be something they wished that did not happen - a promotion or a salary increment. So, first, try to understand what situation or who is causing them to complain. Once you know the reason, try to explain them, and this should happen only when needed. If it is not required, you can leave the conversation and clearly hint to them that you are not interested in such talks.

They seek validation:

The majority of complainers also need validation. At times, the things these people keep complaining about can be genuine and may be troubling them. In such situations, validate their reasons and show sympathy. However, don’t keep on listening to them. If you do so, they will keep on coming with more complaints. The best way is- provide a solution to it or leave it.

Assist them to analyze their behavior:

When a whiner comes with any complaint to you, ask them sincerely if they want assistance or if they want to express. If the latter is their intent just listen and leave it. In case the former is their intention try to explain them regarding their complaint. Say to them what is good in their argument and what’s not. In this way, you will be helping them in analyzing their character and thought process. If they are intelligent and really wish to change, they will heed you.

They need to bond:

While most of the complainers need deconstruction or validation, there are a few who seek bond. Carefully look out for such complainers and try to be friends with them. A few complainers think complaining is one way to develop friendship and rapport. In such cases, be friendly with them and at the same time say that you don’t entertain too much complaining. This way, there are more chances that the person may change his behavior.

Shift back the blame:

You have always been kind to complainers by listening to them with attention and sympathy and, now you are exhausted. So, what to do at this point, simply explain to them what their fault is. Say them clearly that too much complaining isn’t going to help anyone especially, for petty reasons. According to human psychology, being stubborn to stubborn people will help sometimes.

Change the conversation:

The minute you know that he/she is complaining unnecessarily just try to change the topic. It is the safest and easiest way to save yourself and give some breathing time to the complainer. Instead of listening silently and uninterestingly just change the subject altogether and see the result.

So, the next time you come across such people, act wisely and handle them with care with the above tips.

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